Jan 28

Jan 28 The Question that Could Change Your Life

Financial Coaching, Professional Issues, Talking About Money, Tips and Tricks

What is the question that could change the trajectory of your financial life?

Hello, Talking About Money Community, how are you?

For those of you who are frequent readers of the blog, you know that I like to talk about the importance of listening. You can see this theme play out in fan favorites such as

Listening to Build Bridges, Across the Aisle and Across the Table

and

The Utter Importance of Listening

In this post, however, I want to take a step back and discuss the power of the perfectly composed question to jump-start new beginnings.

For some of you, a new beginning starts every year on January 1st when you make your New Year’s Resolutions and take steps to improve yourself going forward. Or maybe you register a new beginning on your birthday, when you mark the passage of time and resolve to become a better version of yourself as you get one year older. Parents might see new beginnings each fall on the first day of school for their children, with the hope and possibility that the next grade will bring. Heck, if you are in the United States you might even mark a new beginning on April 15th once your taxes have been submitted and you can cross that dastardly deed off your to-do list!

And I would be remiss if I did not mention the collective new beginning that Americans experience every four years on Inauguration Day.

The specific new beginning that I want to discuss in this post is that magical moment when your eyes are open to a new way of thinking, causing you to change in such a way that you will never be the same way again.

What, you may ask, has the ability to cause this change?

The Powerful Question

For those of you who have pursued professional training in coaching, you know what I am talking about. The International Coach Federation uses its Core Competencies to describe the critical skills that a professional coach must exhibit when working with their clients. Under the section called “Communicating Effectively,” the core competency “Evokes Awareness” includes:

Definition: Facilitates client insight and learning by using tools and techniques such as powerful questioning, silence, metaphor, or analogy

Skills:

Considers client experience when deciding what might be most useful.
Challenges the client to evoke awareness or insight.
Asks questions about the client, such as their way of thinking, values, needs, wants and beliefs.
Asks questions that help the client explore beyond current thinking.
Invites the client to share more about their experience in the moment.
Notices what is working to enhance client progress.
Adjusts the coaching approach in response to the client’s needs.
Helps the client identify factors that influence current and future patterns of behavior, thinking or emotion.
Invites the client to generate ideas about how they can move forward and what they are willing or able to do.
Supports the client in reframing perspectives.
Shares observations, insights, and feelings, without attachment, that have the potential to create new learning for the client.

As you can see from this list, evoking awareness in your client is a key skill in facilitating their growth and change. Through the art of the powerful question, you can help your client uncover what might be blocking them from taking forward action that brings them closer to achieving their financial goals.

Which Powerful Question?

You might ask yourself: What is that all-important question that can change your life?

Well, it depends.

In his book The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever, author Michael Bungay Stanier describes his theory for getting the most from his clients in organizations. His seven core powerful questions include:

What’s on your mind?
And what else?
What’s the real challenge here for you?
What do you want?
How can I help?
If you are saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
What was most useful for you?

What do you see in common in many of these questions? If you said they begin with the word “what,” Dear Reader, you got it! Good job!

What is it about the word “what” that is so impactful?

Asking “what” opens up space for your client to reflect on their circumstances in a non-judgmental way that also invites them to move from reflection towards action. For this reason, “what” is much more powerful than “why.” Practice transforming your “why” questions to “what” questions and notice the change.