Breaking Down Financial Barriers: Why Working with a Financial Coach Might Be Exactly What You Need
Are you hesitant to work with a financial coach because you worry they won't understand your unique financial situation? The key to finding the right financial support might lie in understanding a common misconception that keeps many people from getting the help they need and deserve.
Good day! I hope this post finds you well.
In my years as a financial educator and coach, I've noticed that many people avoid seeking financial guidance because they unconsciously divide the world into two categories: "us" (people with financial struggles) and "them" (people who have it all figured out). This mental sorting happens so automatically that you may not question it, yet it profoundly shapes whether you seek help and how you engage with financial guidance when you do. This simplified view might be preventing you from accessing the support that could transform your financial life.
Let's explore what this "us vs. them" mentality means when it comes to financial services, why you might default to it, and how shifting this perspective can help you find the right financial support for your unique situation.
What is "Us vs. Them" Thinking Around Money?
According to behavioral psychology research, we naturally categorize people into groups based on perceived similarity or difference. When it comes to money, this often creates an artificial divide between those who "have it together" financially and those who are "struggling" or "behind."
In financial contexts, "us vs. them" thinking manifests as your brain's way of quickly sorting people into categories of financially successful versus financially challenged, knowledgeable versus confused, disciplined versus undisciplined.
This categorization can include:
Financial professionals who work with wealthy clients ("them")
Those who never seem to worry about money ("them")
People facing similar money challenges as you ("us")
Anyone who understands what it's like to struggle financially ("us")
Many people only recognize this pattern when it's pointed out to them. But once you start noticing it, you'll see how it affects your willingness to seek financial help, your choice of financial professionals, and even how you talk about money.
Remember this key insight: The "us vs. them" mentality around money feels protective, but it often prevents you from accessing the support and guidance that could genuinely improve your financial life.
What is True Support?
True support is distinct from judgment-free advice tailored to your specific situation. According to coaching best practices, authentic guidance involves meeting you exactly where you are in your journey, without shame or assumption about where you "should" be.
While "us vs. them" thinking creates barriers to seeking help, effective support builds bridges between where you are now and where you want to be. In simple terms, good financial coaching happens when both you and your coach recognize that you're navigating money challenges together, regardless of your different roles in the relationship.
Effective support is experienced in real-time—it's about how your coach shows up for you in each conversation. Unlike financial advice that focuses on what you should or shouldn't do, coaching focuses on empowering you to make your own informed decisions based on your values and circumstances.
Common expressions of effective support include:
Helping you identify your own financial values and goals
Recognizing that your circumstances and wisdom are unique
Supporting you in developing sustainable money habits that fit your life
Celebrating your progress, no matter how small
Professional coaching is a collaborative process that recognizes you as creative, resourceful, and whole, and prioritizes personalized solutions over one-size-fits-all advice.
A Story About "Us" - Learning from My Grandmother’s Friendship with Ms. Owens
Ms. Owens was the first person I remember whom society had left behind, but who refused to be invisible.
I didn't understand the complexity of Ms. Owens' situation at the time. As a nine-year-old visiting my grandparents' farm, I knew that Ms. Owens lived with her family on an old school bus—a result of systemic failures that had left her without access to stable housing or traditional employment. Yet she had devised her own way of surviving: walking rural highways collecting bottles and cans for redemption, creating income where more traditional employment eluded her.
What struck me most in watching my grandmother's visits with Ms. Owens was how my grandmother consistently treated Ms. Owens with recognition of her inherent worth and dignity. While broader society might have dismissed Ms. Owens as someone to be pitied or avoided, my grandmother saw her as she truly was: our neighbor, a hardworking person, and someone who displayed resilience in the face of circumstances beyond her control. She was one of "us."
Years later, I realized that Ms. Owens embodied skills that anyone would want to develop: perseverance and incredible resilience. She had been forced to apply these skills within constraints that society had created—constraints that many of us never face but that don't diminish the wisdom required to navigate them.
This childhood experience taught me that wisdom and resourcefulness exist in every economic situation, especially among those whom traditional systems have failed. The question isn't whether you are capable of managing money well—it's whether you can find the right support to build on the strengths you already have, regardless of what circumstances brought you to where you are today.
A Story About "Them" - The Conference Room Revelation
A while back I attended a financial services conference downtown, filled with smart, hardworking professionals. We had gathered to discuss innovative approaches to serving financially disadvantaged households—work that should naturally foster connection and empathy.
At one point during the presentations, a speaker made a comment that stopped me in my tracks: "You must realize that the people you're trying to serve are nothing like you."
So, according to this logic, the financial professionals in business attire I was sitting among in that conference room represented "us," while the hardworking Americans struggling to support their families on less-than-ideal wages—people like you might be—were "them"?
This comment crystallized a fundamental problem that keeps many people from seeking help from the traditional financial services industry: when some (not all) financial professionals start from a premise that creates distance and “otherness,” they can't possibly serve their clients effectively. And when potential clients believe this distance is real, they avoid seeking help altogether.
Why Do You Avoid Financial Help?
The tendency to avoid financial guidance isn't a character flaw—it's a natural human response based on the historic orientation of the traditional financial services industry as well as several common concerns:
Shame about past decisions: You might worry that a financial coach will judge your previous money choices
Fear of being "found out": Concerns that you're "worse with money" than you appear to others
Assumption about target clients: Believing that financial professionals only work with wealthy or already successful people
Cost concerns: Worrying that financial coaching is only for people who already have money to spare
Imposter syndrome: Feeling like you're not "ready" or "worthy" of professional financial help
Cultural differences: Believing that financial advisors won't understand your background or values
Past bad experiences: Previous encounters with judgmental or unhelpful financial professionals
While these feelings are normal, the reality is that avoiding financial guidance can keep you stuck in patterns that could be changed with the right support and perspective.
What If There Were Only “Us" in Financial Coaching?
I want to propose a thought experiment: What if you approached potential financial coaches as people who genuinely want to help you succeed, regardless of your current financial situation? How would that change your willingness to seek help and your expectations for the coaching relationship?
This perspective doesn't mean assuming every financial coach is right for you. It means recognizing that effective coaching comes from good questions and genuine listening, not from the coach having identical experiences to yours.
By consciously choosing to see potential coaches as partners rather than authorities, you remind yourself that everyone navigating money is dealing with universal human challenges:
Making difficult decisions with limited information
Balancing competing priorities and values
Trying to create security for themselves and their families
Seeking to align their money choices with their deeper values
When you start from this foundation of shared humanity, several powerful shifts become possible:
Reduced shame: You realize that money challenges are normal and solvable, not character flaws
Increased openness: You become more willing to share your real situation rather than hiding struggles
Better coach selection: You focus on finding a coach who understands your needs rather than avoiding looking for help altogether
Improved outcomes: When you engage authentically, professional coaching becomes more effective
Greater confidence: Working with someone who believes in your capability builds your own self-trust
What to Look for in a Financial Coach
1. Judgment-Free Approach
The right coach will meet you where you are without shame or criticism about your past financial decisions. They should ask questions to understand your situation rather than making assumptions.
2. Personalized Guidance
Effective coaches recognize that financial strategies must fit your unique circumstances, values, and goals. They won't try to force you into someone else's financial plan.
3. Empowerment Focus
Good coaches help you develop your own financial decision-making skills rather than telling you what to do. They build your confidence and capability.
4. Cultural Competence
The best coaches understand that people from different backgrounds may have different relationships with money, and they respect these differences.
5. Realistic Expectations
Quality coaches help you set achievable goals and celebrate progress at every level, regardless of your starting point.
Common Concerns About Financial Coaching
"I Don't Make Enough Money to Work with a Coach"
Many coaches work with clients at all income levels because they understand that good money habits matter regardless of how much you earn. Some coaches offer sliding scale fees to make coaching accessible.
"I'm Too Behind to Get Help"
There's no such thing as being "too behind" for financial coaching. In fact, the earlier you get support, the more time you have to implement positive changes.
"They Won't Understand My Situation"
Good coaches are skilled at understanding diverse situations through active listening and thoughtful questioning. Their value comes from helping you think through your options, not from having identical experiences.
"I Should Be Able to Figure This Out Myself"
While you certainly could learn everything on your own, having a coach can accelerate your progress and help you avoid common pitfalls. It's an investment in your future self.
Signs You're Ready for Financial Coaching
You're tired of feeling stressed or confused about money decisions
You want to align your spending with your values but aren't sure how
You're facing a financial transition (job change, marriage, divorce, etc.)
You have specific goals but need help creating a realistic plan
You want to build better money habits but struggle with consistency
You're ready to invest in your financial future
The Real Benefits of Financial Coaching
People who work with financial coaches often experience:
Reduced money stress: Having a plan and support system decreases financial anxiety
Improved decision-making: Learning to evaluate options systematically leads to better choices
Increased confidence: Understanding your options builds self-trust around money
Better relationships: Reduced money stress often improves relationships with family and friends
Aligned spending: Learning to spend according to your values creates more satisfaction
Long-term security: Developing sustainable money habits builds lasting financial health
Your Financial Journey Starts Here
Ask yourself:
What would be different in my life if I felt confident about my financial decisions?
What's really holding me back from seeking financial guidance?
How might working with the right coach accelerate my progress toward my goals?
What one small step could I take today to explore financial coaching options?
The beautiful truth is that most people want the same fundamental things from their financial lives: security, choice, peace of mind, and the ability to care for their loved ones. When you start with this shared foundation, you discover that working with a financial coach isn't about proving you're successful—it's about building the tools and confidence to create the financial life you want.
Ready to Transform Your Financial Future?
If you're tired of feeling stuck, confused, or stressed about money, it's time to consider a different approach. Working with a professional financial coach isn't about having everything figured out—it's about partnering with someone who believes in your capability and wants to help you succeed.
The path forward isn't about perfection—it's about consistently making choices that align with your values and move you toward your goals. Your future self will thank you for the decision to seek support today.
Schedule your complimentary consultation to explore how financial coaching could help you build the financial confidence and security you deserve. Remember, seeking help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of wisdom and self-investment.
Your financial dreams are valid, your challenges are normal, and your success is possible. The question isn't whether you deserve financial support, it's whether you're ready to accept it.